End of the 3rd Semester

All that is left of this semester are the final tests which are next week. Yeah! Then it is time for a little break with family and friends, and a time to catch our breath. One more semester to go and we will be off to whatever God has planned for us. Figuring out what that plan is might be the hard part. Any and all prayers on our behalf our appreciated. Where will we be next year this time? I have asked myself that many times. There are so many lasts (probable) that we are experiencing right now. The last fall, poinsettia sale, Christmas open house and the last Christmas banquet with the crazy group I work with. As much as I didn't want to move here it will be sad to leave also.

Surprise

Yesterday I received the biggest surprise I have ever gotten. I opened my front door for my Thanksgiving guests and who should be there but my daughter; the one who was supposed to be in NY with her boyfriend's family. She decided to come home and surprise us. If you know me then you will be assuming I ended up in tears; that assumption would be correct. A big thank you to Bernita & Sam for making it possible. It was a wonderful day!

Unfortunately today I need to go to work and I can't just spend the day with my girls. Thankfully there are two more days before she has to leave. I just want to soak in every minute that we are all together. The two sisters can enjoy their time together today with mom & dad out of the house. I'm expecting another great day tomorrow with my daughters and my best friend out on the town.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is finally almost here. In case you haven't picked up on it I am looking forward to tomorrow. I have food prepared in the fridge and tonight is pie baking time. I know everyone has there own "thing" that represents the holiday to them. For me it is the dressing aka stuffing. When I taste it I get transported back home to mom's. Like most people I think that my mom is the best cook ever. In my case it is true though. Tomorrow I guess the official passing of the torch happens. For the first time ever I have the sole responsibility for the Thanksgiving meal with guests, not just my own family. I guess that means I am now old. I just hope my girls will have a taste that sticks with them for the rest of their life that will transport them back home too.

I just received word from my sister today that Micah is officially theirs according to Ethiopia. There is still paperwork for the US that needs completed and then he is headed home. I can't wait to hug that little angel and kiss those adorable little dimples.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Blessings!

Fall 2010

I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. Last year was rather depressing with just 3 of us to enjoy the traditional meal I had prepared. After being accustomed to large extended family holiday meals it just seemed rather pathetic. This year we will have guests from Ohio! We should have a full table of around 10 people. Although now that I think about it that is still small compared to past years. Now the key is not to mess up the meal.

My sister leaves tomorrow for Ethiopia. I can't wait to see pictures of her holding her new son. I am just hoping they will have him here in the States by Christmas so I can see he when we visit. That child isn't going to know what hit him when all that Miller love is dumped on him. The timing is perfect for their trip since November is National Adoption month.

Things have been rather stressful the last month and we are very ready to have things settled in our life. Any and all prayers are much appreciated. This is definately a time of the testing of our faith. "I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my strength come from? My strength comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth."Pslm 121

Fall Semester Part 2

Fall breaks are now over for my scholars which means part 2 of the first semester is underway. Time is just flying by and I LOVE it. It is so exciting to look forward and realize that there are endless possibilities in front of us. I am sure when that time draws nearer I will be apprehensive too. Maybe I am getting braver, the unknown isn't terrifying like it would have been at one time.

We are setting up for Christmas at my second job. Its very strange to have all the Christmas paraphernalia around me while I'm working in shorts and t-shirt. I was always the one that complained about stores decorating early but I'm actually enjoying it. My friend Marilyn who would like to start decorating in July is probably getting a good laugh at that.

My sister has finally received her first court date on the adoption hearing in Ethiopia. She will get to hold her new son for the first time. The hard part will be when she has to come back home without him. They will return when the second hearing is scheduled. Hopefully that won't be more then about a month. We are all so excited to welcome little Micah into the family.

October

Fall has come to Kansas beautifully. The days are in the 70s and 80s and the nights in the 50s and 60s. Absolutely perfect. It is also the time for birthdays in our family, James, Jessica and mine. It is hard to believe that I am as old as what my birth certificate says I am. Typo? Its been a good birthday so far. People keep giving me different types of chocolate. I think my love of chocolate is becoming known far and wide. Now if only the Hershey Company would find out and keep me well stocked I'd be good. I recall going with my dad to the Hershey factory when he would take a milk product from the cheese company he drove for. I had to wait in the truck but my wait was rewarded with a bunch of candy. Oh, the good old days when I didn't think about caolories as I enjoyed this dark manna.
We had a wonderful surprise last friday. We received a call from Jessica telling us that an anonymous donor had paid the balance due on her tuition for this semester. To say we were shocked, stunned, overwhelmed doesn't begin to cover it. We don't know who to thank except God. It was a definate answer to prayer. Sometimes I don't know why I bother to get worried and fret about things. He's got it covered.

United Nations

This evening we were invited to a fellow student's home for dinner. As the evening progressed I had an opportunity to observe everything going on around me. What a mix of nations and races all together enjoying an evening of fellowship. Zimbabwae, Nigeria, Mexico, and of course the US. Within the US group there where Hispanic, black and white. Everyone serving the same God. Who would have thought that a little mennonite girl from Ohio would be spending a night under the western sky with a group like this and loving it. Its one of those moments in time that fall under the catagory, Priceless.

Rainy Day Musing

I woke up to the sound of thunder this morning. I have missed that so much. I wanted to be able to stay in bed while the rain pounded on the roof and the thunder rumbled above. Unfortunately that was not to be. It was a magnificent display though.
We have started an intensive series of personality tests for the school. Normally I am not that enthused about things like that, it is interesting but I don't care for the pigeonholing. Much to my surprise I am enjoying this one. I am actually disappointed to miss part of the class next week. It is the night of the Coming Home Parade and the bank has a "float". I have float in quotation marks because my definition of a float and their defination is different. I will be on candy duty that night and try to hit the public with tootsie rolls. I suggested tomatos but they aren't going for it. I wanted to re-enact the tomato parade they have in Spain.
James preached at a church in the southern part of the state last week. It is one of those old country churches. Beside the door was a plaque that read 1904. I could almost feel the history seeping out of the pews. How many generations of people have gone there to worship God? People in the little country churches always seem so friendly and happy to see you. A good example for those of us in "town" churches. To many times we want to visit with our friends and miss the strangers sitting among us.

September Thoughts

Life now finds us beginning the 3rd week of college. You are probably wondering where the us comes in since James is doing all the school work. It just feels like I'm also going through everything too. We might be heading down to the southern part of the state two Sundays out of the month. James was asked to help fill the pulpit at a church that is looking for a pastor. We figured we can try it to see if his schedule will allow and also if the drive won't be to much. I'm not sure how long he will be able to do the balancing act of full time student, working and preaching. I have to admit that I am kind of looking forward to it. Maybe after the first 2 hour drive I'll change my mind.
The days are a little cooler then they were. Only in the 80s and 90s now but the nights are nice and cool. I love to feel the cold air and be able to bury under my blankets. I think I can smell Fall in the air. The mums are being sold at the nursery and all the fall decorations are out. I've always loved this time of year (Halloween not so much). Before I know it I'll be roasting a turkey for Thanksgiving. That is James' favorite holiday. I think it is because he can eat (in the past it also meant see family) and he doesn't have to buy any gifts. Last year was a very difficult holiday since it was just the 3 of us but this year we will have family here!!! If you can't tell I'm a little excited.
Lacey has been acting very strange lately. Sometimes I'm worried that she is going to die. She is 7 now so it would be on the young side of the projected life span. I can't even put my finger on exactly what is different but James has noticed it too. I've been trying to prepare myself for it but if it does happen I'm sure I'll be a mess. Its amazing how attached you can get to a dog.
Well I have enjoyed this Labor Day at home. I just wish it wouldn't be coming to an end so quickly. Tomorrow it is back at it.

New School Year

Things have really changed for us. Jessica is now back at school. As a mom it was very scary to have her drive that far by herself. She did make it without any problems. On the way back to school she stopped and ate with my sister and her son (who was headed here for college). James started school Monday and a part time job Tuesday. Courtney returned to school last Monday. So the first leg of the final year has begun. Yes, I am thrilled about that.
It also seems as if things might, may I stress might, be finally calming down a little for us.
God is faithful even when at times it feels like I have been forgotten. So to borrow some phrasing from a young nephew, "God thanks for not letting go of the string".

Summer Heat

Where in the world have I moved to that the temps are consistently over 100 degrees? May I add that those are the actualy temps before humidity is factored in. Kansas doesn't have high humidity? Ha! They do this year. There is just something so wrong with feeling like it is cooling off when the temps are still in the 90s.
Things are going well. God continues to provide. It is definately teaching us that we can let go of that control we think we have on our life and let him have it all. James is finishing his time at the hospital this week and then gearing up for his final year of school. Then what? That is the million dollar question. It does make for some interesting conversations in our house though. We don't have an idea where we will end up at this time. It is rather exciting to think of the possibilities. Just pray that God will give us clear direction where to go next.

Summer

It has now been a couple days since we moved into our new house. So far we love it and are so thankful to be there. For the first time in a long time I feel "settled". Although i better enjoy it while it lasts since next year we will be doing it again.
The temps have been averaging around 100 and yes there is humidity in Kansas. Praise the Lord for air conditioning. Its to hot to feel motivated to do much.
James only has 3 1/2 weeks of internship left at the hospital. While he is looking forward to the end the experience he has gained have been invaluable. Jessica is working at a nursing home as an aide and is enjoying it. She comes home with some very funny stories. Courtney is sleeping late, and swimming with friends. What more could you ask of a summer then that. My summer schedule has remained the same as the rest of the year. Thats OK though. I really wanted a little normalcy in my life and I think this is it. My chance to catch my breath a little.

Moving Again

Yesterday, July 13, I found myself moving things to our new house. The significance in that? July 13, 2009 the movers were at our house in Ohio to move us to Kansas. It was a horrible day. This time is different. While I didn't enjoy the work in the 100 degree temperature it is a good move. Bigger house, same rent. Next year I will most likely find myself doing the exact same thing. I have no clue where we will be headed at that time. Hopefully in 2012 I will not be moving! July 14, 2009 we said good-bye to James' mom thinking we would never see her alive again. Thankfully God graced us with the opportunity to return to see her before she passed away. Tomorrow will be the anniversary of our arrival in Kansas (it will probably never be the same again). When we got here the time here stretched out before us endlessly, now I can't believe a year is already behind us. Less then one to go then who knows where we will be headed. Its exciting to think of what might be before us.

Daddy's Girl

I left Ohio to fly back to Kansas today. I felt like I was leaving one world and going to another. Traveling by plane is something I do for convenience or necessity but not because I enjoy it. More like I endure it. I always pray right before take off. Today as God and I were having our chat I asked him to watch over his wimpy daughter. A little thrill just shot through me. Not at the wimpy part but the fact that I am his daughter. I've thought of myself as his in more of a general sense. I am God's daughter, the infinite Creator of the Universe, Lord, Abba, he is my Father. That awesome fact has just sunk in and it fills me with joy and wonder. I just pray that whatever I do I can more fully be, My Father's daughter.

Family & Friends

My time here in Ohio is winding down to a close. It went way to fast, and is a little bittersweet. In some ways I was the outsider looking in but in other ways it felt like I never left. I had the opportunity to have dinner with a bunch of my sunday school class and it felt so good. It was great to see everyone, I was touched that they took time out of their busy schedules on a holiday week for me, and also sad that I need to leave these dear friends again. My little nieces and nephews are growing up so fast. Thankfully some are still young enough to bribe with gum or candy. No, I am not above that. Sometimes when everyone is gathered together I just mentally step back and watch all the interaction. I see what a great dad my younger brother has become, the inner radiance of my expecting niece, the quiet pain on my mothers face. Its my family, and I am going to miss them.

O-Hi-O

So the days are counting down until I make a trip back home. Not sure if home is the right word anymore. At the same time Kansas isn't home either. Very strange. I'm very excited but at the same time almost scared of what I will find. Life has gone on without me. People have had babies, married, died, moved, forged new friendships and it might be a little like standing on the outside looking in a window at everyone. I wonder if I will still "belong". I confess I can't wait until I can have a place I can call home. When you know that your stay is only temporary it is hard to give yourself fully because you know you will just have to say good-bye again. This is what it should be like for Christians. We should never truly belong here on earth our stay here is just temporary.

Dream

I had the strangest awesomest dream last night. Usually by the time I rub the sleep from my eyes I forget what I was dreaming of, not this time. It involved witnessing 3 signs of the second coming of Christ. To be "there" and see the stars all shooting across the sky was so exciting. Unfortunately James' alarm clock woke me up. It just reminded me of how wonderful and breathtaking that day is going to be and how truly horrible for those who are not ready. I believe all the things that are going on in the world with earthquakes, floods, tidal waves, wars and much more are signs for us that those clouds could part at any second. I just pray that we can all experience it with utter joy and not terror.

The Boat

So you are probably wondering what the out of the boat is all about. A couple years ago when I was going through several months of intense conversations with God the phrase, "get out of the boat" kept going through my mind. Basically to me it meant give all of myself to Him even if it doesn't make any sense. That is what I have tried to do. I've tried to go where God leads me even when I want to ask "are you nuts". It has lead me from the craziness of starting a bookstore in a horrible economy (haven't figured out what the point of that was yet) to a tiny rental in Kansas. As far as the store goes the only thing I have figured out so far is that I was being taught to obey even when it seemed crazy. Sometimes when I start the whole questioning phase again I start asking why I couldn't stay at home and continue to build my store. Then I'm reminded that it wasn't mine. I had told Him it was his from the beginning (after all it was his crazy idea) so it was his to take away too. So here I am out of the boat, trying to keep my eyes on Him.

The Beginning

Well I've finally done it. I was told to start a blog over a year ago but I kept putting it off. I've finally decided to take the plunge. For those of you that haven't kept up with my life I am actually in Kansas now and not in Ohio. James has been attending school and is in a Pastoral Ministries Program. We will be graduating May of 2011. I have been working to try to support our family. Life has certainly not been easy but I do feel we are where God wants us. I just have to keep relying on him even when things look impossible. Jessica has decided to spend this summer with us. Its been hard on her to be here and not have any friends here. I am glad she still wanted to come and spend time with mom & dad even though we've turned her world upside down. Courtney has adjusted pretty well. The first 6 months were very difficult and I confess it would cause us to ask God why. The guilt was very strong, we had caused such havoc in our daughters' lives. Now the first year is behind us and with one left to go it seems as if the light is at the end of the tunnel. Where will we go from here? Only God knows. At first I imagined going back home to Ohio but now I don't know. Its not that I don't want to but I think it might be very hard to step back into the flow. Everyone there has been living their life even though we aren't there. Hard to imagine I know. Life does go on. Courtney is back visiting right now and I think was a little disappointed that people didn't recognize her. She has really changed her looks though and is growing up so fast. I will continue to try to give you all a picture of our life.