Washington

Well here we are. In the wilds of the northwest. It has been 4 weeks now since I arrived and I still wake up in the morning and gaze in awe at the beautiful scene out my window. It is hard to believe I live here. I feel like I should be packing up and heading back. I'm not sure where I should head back to, Kansas or Ohio. Kansas actually feels more like home right now then Ohio does. I think it is that first return when the realization hits that you don't have your own house there anymore that you realize you no longer belong. It is rather funny though. I hated even the name Kansas before we moved there from Ohio and now I miss it. I miss the people, my job, my house, the little country church....many things. I am looking forward to when WA can truely feel like home. The last two years have been very transient and I want some stability. Although I do realize now that kind of stability is just an illusion.

The day we were loading the truck to leave KS I received a phone call that my mom was taken to the hospital. It made the process even more emotional. I was driving west and my mom was east. It seemed so wrong. After about a week she was transferred to a rehab place and is now at one closer to home. There is progress but not enough to go home yet. I just wish she would feel well enough to enjoy life again. To make at least one more trip out here to WA. She always loved it here. I want her and my dad to be able to enjoy their retirement years. Just keep them both in your prayers.

The hardest part about moving is the effect it has on my girls. My youngest really misses her friends from KS. It is very hard to look into tear filled eyes and not be filled with guilt. Feeling like I am a bad mother for making her leave a place where she is happy. I wish I had all the answers to give her.